Writer’s Block

I don’t know that I’ve ever had writer’s block. I’m not sure what it feels like. For me, writing doesn’t happen when I don’t have enough time in the day to decompress and settle back into that quiet space a few inches inward from my skin where inner thoughts lie. My job is very social, lots of talking to coworkers, much more talking to the public who come in; it’s pretty intense and forces me to always, always be on the outside of my skin, actually pushing out into the world, making myself bigger than I am. It’s sort of like becoming a diffuse version of myself since I’m bleeding out into the air around me.

Cut to home-time and it takes a long while for me to settle back into my skin. I’ve got an amazing life partner who lets me take a half-hour or hour to re-adjust to the switch. He just lets me sit in the bedroom or make some tea or stare silently at TV before we engage in any conversation. And by then I’m just as big as myself, no larger. If given another forty-five or an hour I can get settled into the quiet, warm creative center of my body. Full disclosure, I get home around 8 pm. By the time I could get to my creative center it would be ten already and I go to bed around 11. Okay, I’m an old lady, but I’m just trying to live, folks. Bottom line, if it’s a work day, it isn’t happening.

There’s a bit of luck in the fact that I have a weird (but totally rad) job. I have weekdays off a lot, so that’s two full days on my own to get to my creative place and write as fast as I can around all of life’s distractions. That works, actually, some of the time. But like any job there’s busy times and lull, and basically more than half the year I’m buried and coming home is just an opportunity to fall asleep and reboot. But for maybe four months or so I’ve got the bandwith to roll ideas around in my head even if I don’t get a word on paper I’ve got parts of my current story crafted and ready. Then it’s just a matter of a sec to sit and put fingers to keyboard.

Currently I’m working on a new novel, wild west and freedom. I write from a place of feeling so getting to a mindset of wildness, freedom, and lawlessness takes time after leaving the constructs of work. If I am determined, I’ll get there, even if I have to wait eight months, I’ll get there. I don’t call that a block. I call it just…waiting.

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